At ‘The Excel Experts’ we like to try out new writing talent. This short story was written by a young lady in America. I like it, what do you think?
Productivity Is Key
Business owners can find keeping up with speed in changes in technology difficult. Proactive business owners understand that investments in technology can benefit a company financially and give a company a tactical advantage over the competition. To Investigate advances in technology, to determine if they offer a positive return on investment for your company. Just as Josh does….
Josh is the kind of business guy that doesn’t know how to cope with the speed of technology advancement, although he is super handsome. On this crazy day, Josh sees Mary, a colleague that’s doing great with technology, and using it to develop her business and increase productivity. He couldn’t face her, he wants to learn but doesn’t know how to get her attention. But he found a way around it.
Josh dresses up like a piece of art work, hangs on the wall like a piece of modern art. People walk through the art gallery, looking at the rather odd pieces of art until a couple of women, KATE and MARY stop in front of him.
KATE: What’s this?
MARY: It’s called “Pity the Fool.”
KATE: It’s amazing. The man looks so … lifelike.
MARY: It’s like he could walk right out of the painting and talk to us. (Suddenly JOSH’s eyes pop open and the women are startled).
JOSH: Do you have any water? (His eyes close again. Kate and Mary look at each other and then at the painting again).
KATE: You heard that right?
KATE: I’ll get some water. (She leaves. Mary wants to follow and doesn’t want to be left alone).
JOSH: Wait. Please. (Mary reluctantly stops. She looks around but appears tob alone. She cautiously returns).
MARY: What? Uh… who? I mean…
JOSH: Why am I here?
MARY: Sure… let’s ask that question.
JOSH: This is my self portrait.
MARY: Pity the fool?
MARY: Well… it’s working. I feel sorry for you.
JOSH: Everyone does.
MARY: Oh… (Mary looks around nervously hoping Kate will return. Josh climbs down off the background and sits at the edge of the art looking very hurt and sad. Kate returns with some bottled water).
KATE: Found some water. (Josh takes it from her and gives a weak smile).
JOSH: Thank you. (Josh drinks and lets the water refresh him. Mary and Kate look at each other and then at Josh nervously). I have being trying to get your attention Mary.
JOSH: Your business is growing everyday while mine is suffering, could you please tell me how you’ve being able to cope with speed of technology advancement?
MARY: Have you heard of this website https://www.theexcelexperts.co.uk?
JOSH: No, what’s it about?
MARY: That is the website of ‘The Excel Experts’. They are all about increasing peoples productivity with spreadsheets and office productivity software. This will bring your business a lot of benefits.
MARY: Yes, a spreadsheet is a piece of software that can analyze and store data in tabular form. It looks a bit like a grid.
JOSH: Oh I know! … most of my staff use them. They spend AGES every week doing Payroll and matching stuff up and making reports and things…. Yes very useful.
MARY: Well spreadsheets can also be made to do complicated and repetitive jobs with incredible speed and accuracy. It may be that you could save your staff hours and hours a week, by getting Excel to do lots of the work for them.
KATE: Excel is the most widely used spreadsheet – honestly Josh don’t you know anything?
JOSH: You mean it’s really that simple … like breast feeding?
MARY: Yeah, huh… how do you know breast feeding is simple?
JOSH: Well.. software that can do everything you just mentioned really…is simply breast feeding you isn’t it.
KATE: I think he’s right
MARY: Really, what if I had told you earlier that spreadsheets are useful for home and business users of all skill levels. An underlying benefit, no matter how you use them, is the relative ease with which you can turn raw data into useful information. The built-in calculators, formulas and functions in spreadsheets save time and improve mathematical accuracy.
You can also use formulas and functions to manipulate text strings. For example, you can separate first and last names from a full name or find and replace words or characters in a string with another word or set of characters. Formulas can link and instantly update cells in the spreadsheet should the value of a cell change. If you do make a mistake, built-in error-handling capabilities flag and provide information about the incorrect cell value.
JOSH: Oh my God, this is no longer breast feeding.
MARY: Then what is it?
JOSH: It’s heaven on earth…
KATE: I really need to start taken advantage of this new software so that I won’t hang on the gallery wall like Josh.
JOSH: thanks for that heartfelt compliment… Mission accomplish, I’m getting my spreadsheets software today…